AGP Males and Domestic Abuse, Part IV: Sissyfication and Submissive ‘Women’

Unpacking the connection between autogynephilia and sissyfication. Warning: this article may not be suitable for readers with weak stomachs.

As Catharine MacKinnon has argued ‘Fantasy expresses ideology, [it]is not exempt from it’.1 AGP sissyfication fantasy tells us what they think of women: that women exist to be dominated, used, abused, forced, and penetrated. Can you imagine being in an intimate sexual relationship with a man who thinks this defines you? Can you imagine being forced to play out a pantomime of your oppression for another person’s enjoyment? This is what these men are doing to their wives and sexual partners. The trans identified male A. Long Chu has outlined how

‘Sissy porn is a radical feminist’s worst nightmare. The genre has circulated on the internet, and specifically the microblogging platform Tumblr, in the form of videos, still images, and animated GIFs since around 2013… The [men pretending to be women]in these images… are then re-presented to spectators as formerly male subjects who have been feminized, or “sissified,” through being forced to put on makeup, wear lingerie, and sexually submit themselves to “cock,” usually (but not always) represented by “real men” to whom sissies are expected to open their holes in worshipful surrender’.2

Surrendering holes: this is how the most popular porn genre for trans identified males defines women. Femininity, that which according to transgenderists is the natural state of women and is innate, is wanting to suck penis, to be anally penetrated, to be humiliated. Long Cho elaborates that ‘Characteristically, sissy porn directly addresses its spectators in the second person: bossy captions explicitly inform spectators of their desires (usually some variation of “You want to suck cock” or “You love to be fucked in the ass”) and instruct them to understand their addiction to the genre as constitutive of their own feminization’.3 This is what they mean when they say they ‘love themselves as a woman’: this is the autogynophile’s idea of women.

According to transgender ideology and the pornography used by trans identified males, to be sexually abused is to be ‘feminised’. Although Jerome London claims that sissyfication is distrinct from transgenderism he talks about how

‘Becoming a sissy requires making changes that are both physical and mental. The physical transformation involves things such as cross-dressing, leg-crossing, laser hair removal, wearing makeup, using female cosmetics, and sitting down to pee. It also involves adopting traditionally feminine mannerisms such as stepping daintily, arching your spine, and swishing your hips. If taken to an extreme, it can also involve female hormone injections and even sexual reassignment surgery’. 4

London has articulated the fetish dynamic inherent within AGP. He continues that ‘At its root, sissification is also deeply misogynistic because it implies that there’s something weak, pathetic, and humiliating about acting like a woman’.5 Correct. London argues that this is a new sexual orientation. Would we accept deeply racist sexual fetishes as a new orientation? Sissyfication has a long history. In 1967 Gilbert Nan wrote and published a sissification fantasy, Lingerie and Lace: Stories of Transvestism about how ‘a stirring in a certain area of my panties was the only reminder left that I was still, beneath all the frills and laces a young man’.6 Nan’s erotic fantasy was that an older woman – auntie – would force other women (his maid and the shop clerk) to dress him in women’s clothing.7 Another work of Nan’s, The Corset: Stories of Transvestism, is incredibly similar as a boy is yet again forced by a maid and his aunt to wear girl’s clothes.8 Sissyfication fantasies circulated amongst men long before the rise of internet pornography but the internet has meant the genre has boomed.

For those with a strong stomach, search ‘Sissy’ on Twitter and note the language: women are ‘cumsluts’, ‘whores’, slaves etc. An article by Magdalene Taylor, whose by-line describes her as ‘an editorial assistant and contributor at MEL. She loves Korn, Juggalos and being a dumb bitch’, tries to argue that sissyfication isn’t part of trans identification but is sometimes and can be but really it isn’t.9 Taylor describes how ‘Being a woman is ‘a fetish in which they’re stripped of their masculinity, and in turn, their power and dignity’.10 This is misogynistic, to conceptualise a woman as lacking in dignity and weak and then to get a sexual thrill from this idea. Sissyfication eroticises rape. Taylor explains that ‘it’s a consensual play of non-consent. The man is stripped of his manhood… he turns sexually submissive. “I love it when my wife takes the dominant role when I’m in girl mode and says really hot, crazy stuff to me about being a helpless girl,” Annie explains’.11 The website SissyGirlSanctuary reinforces what Annie nee Andrew and other trans identified males have said. In the list of ‘Five Sissy Girl Essentials’, number one outlines how a girl is a ‘Whore, slut, cumguzzling bitch. A sissy is an entirely sexual entity. Her happiness is dependent solely upon her sexual needs. She isn’t just a girl, she’s a submissive horny slut. She likes to be dominated, used as a vessel for pleasure, and fucked until her asspussy is gaping and wet. She is submissive’.12 Each point is accompanied by a pornographic GIF and when women appear they are being sexually degraded. The website claims that ‘Since the female self within is the subject of our sissyhood, it only makes sense that every effort and dedication towards developing our feminine identity is vital towards sissy success!’.13 How, according to these men, is the female identity developed? They argue that ‘Her Hole is Well Trained for Cock’.14 This allows the trans identified male/sissy to explore the ‘feminine girl deep within her personality. Whether you’re a prissy princess babydoll, or a shameless and filthy cum receptable’.15 That is the lesson from pornography. That is not stunning and brave but hateful misogyny.

Some of the men who claim to be women trapped in men’s bodies are openly speaking about their porn use and that they expect women they have relationships with to accept it. A Vice propaganda piece written by a trans identified male has shared how

‘Owen’s girlfriend never expected to see transgender porn on his phone. No one knew he’d been hiding his attraction to trans women since middle school. Despite the discretion, deep down, Owen optimistically hoped his fear was unfounded; “I always figured she’d find out and be so accepting that I’d feel like I never should have hidden it,” he said. He was wrong. Instead, Owen’s girlfriend was devastated, the 22 year old recalled. At first, she cried and interrogated him: Was he gay? Was she just a prop for him to look straight? Why did he hide this from her?’. 16

Owen’s girlfriend is described as a mean bully and then we are treated to what seems like Owen’s sissyfication fantasy. The trans identified male Andrea Long Chu has written an entire paper questioning whether their consumption of sissy porn made them trans.17 Long Chu claims that to many trans identified males ‘gender dysphoria felt like porn addiction. Indeed, the internet is full of [men]like this, if you know where to look. The phenomenon is common enough, in fact, to have given rise to an entire subgenre of anxiety fielding on the popular discussion website Reddit.’18 18

Certainly, Reddit is flush with these kinds of questions and comments. The poster ‘IWantBoobsBadly’ asked

‘Is porn consumption/addiction a common theme in ‘discovering’ gender identity or finding out you were trans?… I [24M] have been watching porn for probably a decade now and in the last 4 years, it has progressed into watching sissyhypno and other trans-related porn… I think I am trans. I want to be a woman. Am I a woman? You wouldn’t think so looking at me. I want breasts, a slim waste, a nice butt… I want to wear girly things and I want to be called cute and sexy and hot. I crossdress as often as I can. I love girly music… This morning I woke up to a dream where I had big breasts and blonde hair and I was beautiful. Half of me thinks it’s all the porn I’ve watched’.19

In a different thread the poster ‘Iminyourclosett’ asked ‘Did anybody masturbate to transgender porn before they realized they were trans? To be more specific, captioned images’.20 ‘Lashek’ a 30 year old trans identified male responded ‘Yup, I’m not afraid to admit it either… I also host and help run the TFGamesSite.com page, which primarily deals in TF / TG adult games and RP.21 One ‘traptasticfantasy’ a 32 year old trans identified male replies ‘Absolutely. It started with captions, moved to caption vids, then ultimately to “hypno” stuff (which are basically porn music videos). I have even made two of these videos myself’. 22 Another poster, ‘maleia’, confessed that ‘Yup, eventually got to the point of exclusively looking at it. Now I mix it back up; but I’m incredibly vain and aroused by my own self, so I fetishsize my own transition from time to time. No idea if that’s healthy or not. Also The “F” stands for Futa’.23 ‘Maleia’ is referring to Japanese cartoon porn ‘that stars women with penises’.24 The trans identified male Sam Riedel has related how he consumed futa since the age of 13 and that ‘Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped Me Understand My Trans Identity’.25 25 Riedel claimed that

‘Many trans women in my community with whom I’ve spoken have expressed similar feelings about futa and “trap” comics — about boys who are girlish enough to “trap” straight men into having sex with them. Thirty Helens, a trans woman who is herself a creator of futanari comics that she posts on her Tumblr, told me in an interview that consuming futa material before transitioning “helped partly fill a void left by being in the closet while maintaining a mental distance from transness.”26 26

When trans identified males are candid, porn is a common feature in their journey to identifying as women. Men who consume the message that women are sexual objects for their use are not going to have a problem denying that women have inner lives or experiences, that we are more than a collection of parts for male sexual gratification.

This is being played out in women’s intimate relationships with AGP men. Naefearty has related regarding her AGP husband how ‘It transpired that he was also a “submissive” – a very common component of this particular paraphilia – and that nothing got him off more than being “forced” to be “a woman”. Of course “woman” meant submissive, passive, always “willing to please”… He would work this into our “sex life” either overtly or covertly.27 27 The sexism is inherent and clear. The transwidow Emily has recounted similar, that ‘He lies back and thinks he is having lesbian sex, or being taken roughly by a big black man – sham[e]I’m not turned on by his reductive racism and lesphobia. No matter what he says I’m not a lesbian. Apparently me having sex with another woman in front of him isn’t being unfaithful. Me having sex with him dressed to him is a lesbian act – it’s not’.28 ‘Birdbandit’, another transwidow, responded ‘Is yours into sissy? Mine was howling in the internet about wanting to be treated like a slut girl. His chat is, it is a fantasy because he is oh so important in RL, but I say so you think women are sex objects of no value, and you want to be treated as one to escape yourself? That’s a bit of nasty right there’.29 Emily responded that he was ‘Probably into sissy stuff, too … [he]Has admitted he wants to be spit roasted. Had to look that up, then needed eye bleach. So that confession alone told me he looks up all kinds of porn on line.30 The AGP’s idea of woman and sex is reductive and vile. It is pornography and thus hatred of women personified.

Again and again these stories of dehumanisation and sexism are emerging from the women who have had relationships with AGP males. The trans widow Alison disclosed how, after finding out that her husband wanted to be a women after thirty-three years of marriage, ‘He wants to wear women’s lingerie, satin and lace. He wants to lie back, spread his legs; he wants me to lie on top of him between his legs. He wants to be penetrated. He thinks if he’s sexually submissive he’ll feel “like a woman.” For him, I do these things, although we’re not trading places, because I’ve never worn what he’s wearing, felt what he’s feeling’.31 The idea of woman as a thing to be penetrated is present in Mary Joan’s story who told of how: ‘my husband liked to wear women’s clothing only during sex and be pegged by me wearing a strap-on’. 32 Shalyn related how ‘Our sex life was not my idea of normal. He bought a book with a different role play fantasies. Most of the scenarios things I felt uneasy about doing’.33 Sex that one feels uneasy about is coerced, coerced sex is rape. Shalyn described how ‘One scenario, which was not in the book but he suggested, was for us to each dress up as sexy women and pretend we are lesbians. At this point I was done with any attempt to play along with these fantasies… He often acted submissive in the bedroom which was a turnoff. He often wanted to be tied up and that became just too much of a hang up so refused to do it’. 34 Shalyn had begun to rebel.

Despite AGP males claiming to be submissive and wanting to be ‘sissies’ they only ever submit to their own wants and demands. This is not submission but a rebranding of control and domination. Talking of sex with her ‘trans’ partner Tyrotoxicity outlined

‘On them being dominated during sex – he tries to say he’s just naturally submissive, but it’s actually bollocks. Because he doesn’t submit to what I want to do, he’ll only gleefully submit to being told to do shit that he wants to do. Like, for all he said he wants me to be strong and in control, the sort of sex I’d actually like to have just hasn’t been on the table. Because the sort of sex I’d like to have involves two equals treating each other respectfully and having their emotional as well as physical needs catered to. Never did find a way of getting him to join me in that. So who was really dominating?’.35

‘Crybully’ is a term that women who have to deal with trans rights activists are used to. Back in 2015 Julie Burchill had written an article examining ‘the Cry-Bully: a hideous hybrid of victim and victor’.36 These AGP males are bedroom crybullies who try to coercively control their partners. AGP males like to wear down their partner’s boundaries, like how they get a thrill from crossing women’s boundaries in general such as entering our single-sex paces. Tyrotoxicity recalled how there was ‘one particular sexual boundary that he pushes despite me saying I’m not tremendously keen but giving it a go anyway and reiterating afterwards that it really did nothing for me. Naturally this particular boundary relates to the abuse I suffered in childhood, and he knows I find it triggering. Again, who is really dominating here?’.37 It is the transgression of boundaries, the force of his will, which is the turn on.

What a sexual kick these men who abuse their wives and partners must get from being embraced by feminism and women. Talking about women fawning over her rapist on Facebook, Tyrotoxicity wrote that ‘The raping ex who’s apparently a woman now doesn’t have a lot of public posts, but what little there is leaves me in no doubt he’s yet another fetishist. Talking about cramps; horribly self-centred and banging on about his own painful existence, identifying as neurodiverse; accepting fawning compliments from real women while yearning for better hair; seriously the cramps wtf?; still has a beard, naturally’.38 These women were participating in his porn induced sexual fetish. Another transwidow outlined how

‘What mattered most to my husband – apart from his penis of which he was extremely proud – was the idea – the delusion – that he ‘passed’ as a woman. He did not believe that he was a woman nor did he have the slightest thought of ‘losing’ his penis. It was, by his own admission, far too important to him as the primary site of his sexual gratification. It was also the focus – often quite literally – of the trans pornographic videos that I later discovered he made, copied and sold on the internet. He was, however, obsessed by breasts and fantasised about having them, telling me once that to have both breasts and a penis was his idea of ‘heaven’. 39

This is why these porn soaked men who objectify women’s bodies are so obsessed with pronouns, it is a verbal sign that they pass. Forcing women to play along is another means of eroding boundaries and thus plays into their fetish of non-consent. Why must women indulge them? Why must some women force other women to participate?

Conclusions

Women’s spaces must not support male abusers. We need to give the spouses and partners of AGP males a voice. Mumsnet is a shining example of the power of allowing these women to talk in helping them to recover. Tyrotoxicity wrote that she knows

‘we laughingly call this place the radicalisation portal, but it really is. It’s a hotbed of good old-fashioned second-wave consciousness-raising. I love it. If it weren’t for MN I’d still be doing my best to be a good little sex-positive libfem, stuck in a messed up co-dependent relationship with an emotionally-illiterate fetishistic manchild, blaming myself for not being able to just accept and be happy with my lot, and subsuming my own sexual needs for the sake of someone else’s orgasm while hating myself for feeling shit about it.40

It is important for all women that AGP sissyfication and submissiveness is challenged. It is misogynistic propaganda about women’s natural state and desires. Just as transsexualism/transgenderism was the backlash to women gaining more rights and freedoms, a counter to the Women’s Liberation Movement, pornography and this porn genre in particular is a reaction to women’s continued advances. Abigail Bray has argued that, because oppressing whole swathes of the population is costly to the State, the State uses individual men to enforce second class citizenship on women using a variety of means from pornography as propaganda to protecting abusive men with the law.41 This is what transsexualism/transgenderism does by arguing that women’s oppression is natural and innate, that to be feminine is to be female, and to be feminine is to ‘open their holes in worshipful surrender’.42 42

  1. ‘Violence Against Women on the Internet: The Civil Rights Approach’, Harvard Law School , Berkman Center, https://cyber.harvard.edu/vaw02/mod2-4.htm
  2. A. Long Chu, ‘Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans?’, p.5, https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a9b1c0812b13f48e686fdc4/t/5a9c17e1f9619a449856c4fe/1520179170246/Chu-Did+Sissy+Porn+Make+Me+Trans%3F+%28QD2%29.pdf
  3. J. London, ‘The Art Of Sissification: Is ‘Sissy’ A New Sexual Orientation?’, Thought Catalog (30 April 2018), https://thoughtcatalog.com/jeremy-london/2018/03/the-art-of-sissification-is-sissy-a-new-sexual-orientation/
  4. J. London, ‘The Art Of Sissification: Is ‘Sissy’ A New Sexual Orientation?’, Thought Catalog (30 April 2018), https://thoughtcatalog.com/jeremy-london/2018/03/the-art-of-sissification-is-sissy-a-new-sexual-orientation/
  5. J. London, ‘The Art Of Sissification: Is ‘Sissy’ A New Sexual Orientation?’, Thought Catalog (30 April 2018), https://thoughtcatalog.com/jeremy-london/2018/03/the-art-of-sissification-is-sissy-a-new-sexual-orientation/
  6. G. Nan, Lingerie and Lace: Stories of Transvestism (Abb’ de Choisy Press, New York, 1967), p.7
  7. G. Nan, Lingerie and Lace: Stories of Transvestism (Abb’ de Choisy Press, New York, 1967).
  8. G. Nan, The Corset: Stories of Transvestism (Abbé de Choisy Press, New York 1967).
  9. M. Taylor, ‘For These Sissies, Sissification is So Much More Than A Fetish, MEL (2018), https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/for-these-sissies-sissification-is-so-much-more-than-a-fetish
  10. M. Taylor, ‘For These Sissies, Sissification is So Much More Than A Fetish, MEL (2018), https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/for-these-sissies-sissification-is-so-much-more-than-a-fetish
  11. M. Taylor, ‘For These Sissies, Sissification is So Much More Than A Fetish, MEL (2018), https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/for-these-sissies-sissification-is-so-much-more-than-a-fetish
  12. ‘Five Sissy Girl Essentials’, Sissygirlsanctuary, https://sissygirlsanctuary.wordpress.com/2018/06/24/10-sissy-girl-essentials-what-makes-the-perfect-sissy-girl
  13. ‘Five Sissy Girl Essentials’, Sissygirlsanctuary, https://sissygirlsanctuary.wordpress.com/2018/06/24/10-sissy-girl-essentials-what-makes-the-perfect-sissy-girl/
  14. ‘Five Sissy Girl Essentials’, Sissygirlsanctuary, https://sissygirlsanctuary.wordpress.com/2018/06/24/10-sissy-girl-essentials-what-makes-the-perfect-sissy-girl/
  15. ‘Five Sissy Girl Essentials’, Sissygirlsanctuary, https://sissygirlsanctuary.wordpress.com/2018/06/24/10-sissy-girl-essentials-what-makes-the-perfect-sissy-girl/
  16. D. Tourjée, ‘What Happens When Your Girlfriend Finds Out You’re into Trans Women’, Vice (2 August 2019), https://www.vice.com/en/article/a35wgz/what-happens-when-your-girlfriend-finds-out-youre-into-trans-women
  17. A. Long Chu, ‘Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans?’, https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a9b1c0812b13f48e686fdc4/t/5a9c17e1f9619a449856c4fe/1520179170246/Chu-Did+Sissy+Porn+Make+Me+Trans%3F+%28QD2%29.pdf
  18. A. Long Chu, ‘Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans?’, https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a9b1c0812b13f48e686fdc4/t/5a9c17e1f9619a449856c4fe/1520179170246/Chu-Did+Sissy+Porn+Make+Me+Trans%3F+%28QD2%29.pdf
  19. https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/716f10/is_porn_consumptionaddiction_a_common_theme_in/
  20. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/303ymf/question_about_porn/
  21. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/303ymf/question_about_porn/
  22. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/303ymf/question_about_porn/
  23. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/303ymf/question_about_porn/
  24. S. Riedel, ‘Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped Me Understand My Trans Identity’, The Establishment (2 January 2017), https://theestablishment.co/japanese-cartoon-porn-helped-me-understand-my-trans-identity-d5bba16cdaf3/
  25. S. Riedel, ‘Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped Me Understand My Trans Identity’, The Establishment (2 January 2017), https://theestablishment.co/japanese-cartoon-porn-helped-me-understand-my-trans-identity-d5bba16cdaf3/
  26. S. Riedel, ‘Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped Me Understand My Trans Identity’, The Establishment (2 January 2017), https://theestablishment.co/japanese-cartoon-porn-helped-me-understand-my-trans-identity-d5bba16cdaf3/
  27. Naefearty, ‘Gas Mark Six’, NAEFEARTY: Your fantasy is my nightmare (22 July 2014), https://naefearty.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/gas-mark-six/
  28. ‘Trans widows escape committee’, Mumsnet (1 December 2017) https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee
  29. ‘Trans widows escape committee’, Mumsnet (1 December 2017) https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee
  30. Trans Widows escape committee, Mumsnet (1 December 2017), https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee?pg=2
  31. ‘Alison’s Story: Uncoupling’, Trans Widows Voices, https://www.transwidowsvoices.org/post/alisons-story-uncoupling
  32. ‘Mary Joan’s Story: Paying The Price’, Transwidows Voices, https://www.transwidowsvoices.org/post/mary-joan-paying-the-price
  33. ‘Shalyn’s Story: Out of My Closet & On With My Life’, Trans Widows Voices, https://www.transwidowsvoices.org/post/shalyns-story
  34. ‘Shalyn’s Story: Out of My Closet & On With My Life’, Trans Widows Voices, https://www.transwidowsvoices.org/post/shalyns-story
  35. Trans Widows Escape Committee 3: Rise of the Trans Widows, Mumsnet (August 2019), https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3668898-trans- widows-escape-committee-3-rise-of-the-trans-widows?pg=2
  36. J. Burchill, ‘Meet the Cry-Bully: a hideous hybrid of victim and victor’, The Spectator (21 April 2015), https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/meet-the-cry-bully-a-hideous-hybrid-of-victim-and-victor
  37. Trans Widows Escape Committee 3: Rise of the Trans Widows, Mumsnet (August 2019), https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3668898-trans-widows-escape-committee-3-rise-of-the-trans-widows?pg=2
  38. Trans Widows Escape Committee 3: Rise of the Trans Widows, Mumsnet (August 2019), https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3668898-trans-widows-escape-committee-3-rise-of-the-trans-widows?pg=2
  39. ‘Transwidow 2’, Transwidows.com, https://www.transwidows.com/index.php/why-now
  40. Tyrotoxicity, https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3668898-trans-widows-escape-committee-3-rise-of-the-trans-widows?pg=3
  41. A. Bray, Misogyny Reloaded (Spinifex 2014).
  42. A. Long Chu, ‘Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans?’, p.5, https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a9b1c0812b13f48e686fdc4/t/5a9c17e1f9619a449856c4fe/1520179170246/Chu-Did+Sissy+Porn+Make+Me+Trans%3F+%28QD2%29.pdf

3 Comments

  1. I lived through this nightmare twenty years ago. My husband had concealed a whole secret life, marrying me in the full knowledge that he had no intention of giving it up. He wrecked my health, career, my self-esteem. He wrecked my whole life and laughed about it while expecting me to feel sorry for HIM. I would not wish what I went through on my worst enemy. 🙁

  2. I admire Dr Em, but this is an awful lot of words to say that a lot of men are secretly homosexual and can’t admit it, so they adopt this pantomime dame persona instead and pretend it’s some new and exciting kink. And for this inanity, women’s rights are being sacrificed?

    • If you research autogynephilia, this behavior is termed “pseudo-bisexuality” because these men lack authentic attraction to other men, and instead eroticize the idea of being fucked like a woman. The younger ones nowadays tend to identify as lesbians while fucking each other. This has nothing to do with being secretly homosexual. This is what happens when heterosexual men love women as objects instead of our own person.

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