selfishness, egotistical, self love

Understanding your Nigella – the harms of Transvestic Paraphilia

Your Nigella has a fetish that harms everyone around him. Take a moment to understand the implications of transvestic paraphilia.

A man who self-identified as female entered the changing rooms at my previous gym. He sat with an erection, watching the mums and babies class get changed for and after swimming. I told the manager I knew which road he lived on. Why? Because it is where the bail hostel for sex offenders is located. Trans or not, he used self-identification of sex as a means to access naked women and children. Men who are safe to be around, the ‘good guys’, wouldn’t redefine women as a class to satisfy their sexual urges. They wouldn’t put women and children at an increased risk in order to sustain their erections. Good guys don’t get off on women’s distress or exposing themselves to women and children. Good guys don’t personify a woman hating ideology. This includes your Nigella

Your Nigella has a fetish in which he derives sexual pleasure from boundary violation and domination. He gets off on force and fear. It’s called transvestic paraphilia, or AGP – Autogynephilia. It is sometimes just called ‘trans’ to make it more palatable, or ‘transexual’ to try and make it sound scientific. Nigella revels in making women around him feel uncomfortable. This is why he is turned on when you call him ‘she’ – he gets a thrill from making you lie for him. Bred and fed by porn he requires un-consenting extras to act as fodder. The ‘sissyfication’ is always on their terms. Nigella is a crybully. That he is forcing it on you and strangers in public means it has already escalated. As a fetish it will not be satisfied and will continue to escalate. 

When we read the accounts of women who were intimate with these men, the pattern – the feed and purge – becomes stark. AGP partners redefine the woman’s reality, gaslighting her, isolating her, emotionally blackmailing her and attacking her self-esteem. It is domestic abuse. First, psychological abuse, and then physical sexual abuse. In each woman’s story the AGP partner begins small and escalates to rape, seemingly getting a sexual thrill from the woman’s pain and fear. The transwidow ‘Philomena’ detailed how 

It was not my idea of womanhood. In fact, his version offended me. It was degrading and violent. He clearly thought being a woman meant wanting to be raped and tortured. I told him wearing strap-ons was very sore on my c-section scar, my “turn” being tied up frightened and hurt me, I expressed my preference for gentle, nurturing sex. He told me complaining was very manipulative and selfish and that I was trying to stifle his womanhood.

Birdbandit shared on Mumsnet that

One of the things that makes me feel violated is he planned a weekend away, before the reveal, and basically bullied me into doing things I wasn’t comfortable with… Spent a fortune on sex toys and costumes. But really, I was just his prop, he was getting off on making me feel uncomfortable.

Another woman writing her story under the title ‘Gaslight’ detailed how after her husband Paul had disclosed his ‘dressing as a woman’ and she had uncomfortably indulged this he progressed to anally raping her every night. She described how

I remember the first night Paul decided to try anal sex. It wasn’t discussed beforehand. I kept trying to redirect him but he was almost trancelike in his silent insistence until tired and wanting it to end, I gave in and hated it… Afterwards when I told him that it wasn’t comfortable or pleasurable for me, he suggested it would grow on me… for a period of weeks, night after night, the backdoor sexual activities continued despite my grim, soundless struggles to get him to stop… I told him that I didn’t like it, that I didn’t want to do it, that it hurt… Finally after weeks of this, after getting up one morning bleeding again, I started crying.

Similarly, the trans widow Simone has related how 

I didn’t want to have sex much of the time when he wanted me to penetrate him or have sex with lingerie on. He did things to me with his hands that resulted in damage to my uterus which resulted in over 20 years of fertility issues.

Please, tell me again how it is just kinky knickers, just a dress. Tell me that what he does behind closed doors isn’t the business of feminists. But domestic abuse and rape frequently happen behind closed doors. We need to revive the saying ‘the personal is political’ – and act on it. 

Transvestic disorder sits in the same group in the DSM V as voyeuristic disorder, exhibitionistic disorder, frotteuristic disorder, sexual masochism disorder, sexual sadism disorder, paedophilic disorder and fetishistic disorder and is more often than not co-morbid with its other group paraphilias. Which of the other members of that list and frequently co-morbid paraphilic disorders do they intend to defend with ‘but this one’s nice’? What about paedophiles, will they tell us that excluding them is a ‘purity spiral’, or that paedophilia has ‘nuance’? We see voyeuristic disorder comorbid with transvestic disorder in women’s changing rooms and toilets across the country, in these men rejecting third spaces. We see exhibitionistic disorder comorbid with transvestic disorder across social media and every-time they perform their kink in public. We see paedophilic disorder comorbid with transevestic disorder in the constant headlines and scandals, prison statistics, the conviction after conviction. It always seems to be lurking there. When people argue ‘not my Nigella’ or ‘not all Trans’ they are really saying that this time, this person has a lady brain rather than a dangerous fetish. Yes, clothes are magical and defining. They are telling you to ignore the pattern, ignore the mounting evidence, submit to the ideology, just this once.

This male sexual fetish has successfully used human shields to hide behind. Transexualism/transvestic disorder was rebranded to ‘gender dysphoria disorder’ in 1973/1974 by Norman Fisk because, as he states, ‘it is certainly much more acceptable and non-socially stigmatizing to have a legitimate medical illness than it is to suffer from a supposed moral perversion, sexual deviation or fetish’. This allowed the ‘treatments’, and subsequent profits, such as vocal training to be widened out. Fisk stated that

Obviously, by liberalizing the indications for sex conversion through conceptualizing patients as having gender dysphoria, we also are committed to provide a program for patients encompassing many factors related to a total overall rehabilitative experience. These include vocational counselling and guidance, psychological and psychiatric supportive therapy, grooming clinics where role-appropriate behaviours are taught, explained and practiced, legal assistance, and, probably of most benefit, an opportunity is afforded to meet and interact with other patients who have successfully negotiated gender reorientation.

In sex-role stereotype medicine, patients mean profits, and slowly but surely the rebranding meant that children and girls could be diagnosed. This helps to hide the male sexual arousal aspect, making it look more like an illness. It generates public sympathy for confused, often autistic, children told they were born wrong and therefore require medically fixing. 

But kids aren’t kinky. ‘To warrant the diagnosis of paraphilic disorder’, such as AGP/trans ‘an individual must meet criterion A and criterion B, the latter indicating that the paraphilia causes distress or impairment in functioning or that the sexual practice inherently involves nonconsenting individuals’. Thus, it is clinically recognised as a sexual practice with non-consent at its heart. What is non-consensual sexual activity? Before it was branded stunning and brave we understood it as rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment

The Tavistock and Portman clinic, which has become synonymous with ‘trans’ since its medicalising of gender non-confirming and often autistic children, underscores the link between adult male transvestic paraphilia and sexual offending. According to its own website,

The Portman Clinic, which is part of the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust, was founded in 1933 and is an NHS out-patient clinic specialising in the psychoanalytic assessment and treatment of criminal and troubling sexual behavioural problems in children and adults –sexual offences, anti-social behaviour, and violence, as well as behaviours that may not be illegal but cause severe distress to the individual, like adult pornography addiction.

Alongside creating and funding a clinic to address sexual offending and paraphilias including transvestic disorder, the UK government has repeatedly been made aware of its own statistics showing the connection between transvestic disorder and sexual offending by women’s groups and UK academics. In evidence provided to the UK Parliament in 2020 Michael Biggs cited that

of the 125 transgender prisoners counted by the prison service in 2017, 60 had been convicted of sexual offenses, including 27 convicted of rape (BBC News 2018). In the overall prison population, by comparison, 19% of males had been convicted of sexual crimes and only 4% of females.

At the time Ministry of Justice stats showed that

76 of the 129 male-born prisoners identifying as transgender (not counting any with GRCs) have at least 1 conviction of sexual offence. This includes 36 convictions for rape and 10 for attempted rape.

A Freedom of Information request submitted by Fair Play For Women… reveals the same pattern is observed in data from 2019. This time 81 out of the 163 transgender prisoners in England and Wales had at least one conviction for a sexual offence. More recent analysis of census data by Sex Matters has highlighted how

  • 11,660 men out of a population of 29.5 million = 1 in 2,530 men serving time for sex offences.
  • 103 women out of 30.4 million = 1 in 295,000 women serving time for sex offences.
  • 92 transwomen out of 48,000 = 1 in 522 transwomen serving time for sex offences.

This data suggests that men who identify as “trans women” are five times more likely than other men, and 566 times more likely than women, to commit sexual offences’.

This link between sexual offending and paraphilias, particularly tranvestic disorder, repeats globally. A recent Canadian study of ‘gender diverse’ prisoners has shown patterns of criminality along sex-based lines, with men who identify as ‘transgender’ being imprisoned for violent and sexual offences. Indeed,

almost two-thirds (64%) of these offenders committed a current sexual offence while 88% were convicted for prior sex offences. Almost all (94%) had committed their offences while living as their biological sex. The majority (85%) committed offences that caused death or serious harm to their victim(s) while 70% inflicted psychological harm on their victim(s). Examination of the victimology shows that over half were children (58%) or female (55%)’. One-third (33%) of the offences committed had multiple victims.

Regarding America, Anna Slatz reported in 2022 how

Data obtained from the Bureau of Prisons… revealed that almost 50% of trans-identified male inmates are in custody for sex offences, compared to just 11% of the general male population.

Amanda Stulman had obtained the data but noted a significant problem with it, that

state-level correctional facilities often don’t keep accurate statistics due to coding based on gender identity markers on legal documents rather than actual biological sex.

Stulman pointed to a recent case where a biological male convicted of sexually abusing two toddlers was recorded as a female in the Bureau of Prisons system. It should shock no one that Jakob Neives, also known as Dakota, had been a trans activist publicly advocating for male access to women’s spaces based on gender self-identification prior to his incarceration.

Societal normalisation of men using women and children as fetish fodder is dangerous,

in the past few decades, research on sexual offenders has shown that those with paraphilic disorders are at high risk for committing future sexual offenses.

This is why we so frequently see the thing that supposedly never happens. They have to feed the fetish. This truth is reflected in the statistics, which only ever give a poor snapshot of the real rates of rape and sexual assault. We know, for example, that

in England and Wales, more than 99% of rapes reported to police do not end in a conviction… the result of a criminal justice system that makes prosecuting rape extremely rare, lengthy and difficult.

We know that around the world men who have put female on their identity documents are skewing the data and being recorded as female sexual offenders. We know that reports of rapes have been ignored because the perpetrator is a trans identified male. For example, in 2021,

[NHS] Hospital staff told police their patient was not raped as alleged attacker was transgender, despite CCTV showing assault in ward.

The nonsense term ‘transphobe’ has created a sacred caste of men we may not criticize or prosecute.

A female prisoner in Illinois reported being raped in jail by a man—his lawyer accused her of ‘transphobia’.

As reported in the UK in 2021,

Women prisoners who call transgender inmates by the wrong pronoun could face extra time in jail under equality rules, says a justice minister.

Male criminals held in the female prison estate are a danger to prisoners and staff.

Former Prisons Minister Rory Stewart said in a recent interview there had been ‘situations of male prisoners self-identifying as females then raping staff in prison.

How many women and children have been abused but are scared to speak in case they are denounced? Nevertheless, despite these barriers to prosecuting and convicting rape and sexual offences, men who identify as women are more likely than men who don’t identify as women to commit violent and sexual offences. Page 4 to 9 of this 2023 report to the Queensland Parliament by the Women’s Forum Australia gives a brief, linked, table of examples of violent and sexual crimes committed by men who identified as transgender.

I cannot lie, I cannot deny the pattern, to save the feelings of a man, particularly a man who is exhibiting predatory sexual behaviour. That they are forcing women and children in public to participate in their kink, getting aroused by this, enjoying the nonconsensual nature is a parade of red-flags. Who adds children to their wank bank? So, I recognise it is a bit of a mouthful, but instead of saying to women ‘but, this one is nice, he’s my friend’, could you please say ‘this one has so far been nice to me, as he personifies and embodies the ideology destroying women and children’s rights, defines me as a costume and an object. He has charmed me’. Just for clarity.

Dr Em writes articles anonymously, mostly on feminism, sexism, and gender.

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