Sorry, I’m Still Not Rejoining Corbyn’s Labour

I’m a pretty intense critic of Labour these days, but it wasn’t always like that. As unpopular as it is to say now, I liked a more centrist Labour Party. A Labour Party who could stop gay bashing, but at the same time, not wildly fund a new soviet-style state train system. That’s my kind of political fix.

I’m not particularly unusual for my generation (mid 1990s) in having liberal attitudes, but not cross into deepest darkest socialism. We grew up in 2008 seeing our parents struggle against government overspending: we are wary of utopian budgeting.

We are the teacup liberals. Gay marriage? Yes, thank you. Equal rights? Yes, please. Reducing inequality? How kind. We will politely decline your offer of state-owned everything. We will smile at your offers of gender segregation on trains, but overrule. Any idea that is too wild or extreme can land in our metaphorical saucer and drain away.

So, here are my ‘and many of my peers’ 4 main issues with The Red Party: 

  • The Zionists n’ Trains obsession of Labour really aren’t what our generation cares about. Israel has problems, but on the list of Countries-That-Are-Ethically-Wobbly, it’s not something I’d particularly concern myself with. Saudi Arabia, Iran or Russia, maybe, but there we go. As for fucking trains, which seem to be Jeremy Corbyn’s biggest political issue, it’s laughable.

Sure, I’d like to pay less on the tube or on my way back South, but in a world of Brexit, nationalist insurgency and Scottish isolationism, it’s really not something I’d even mention in parliament. How the hell can he be so out of touch? If Labour promised to stay in the EU, they’d win the next election. They won’t, because they are too busy working out train seating arrangements.

  • Then, there’s Ken Livingstone and George Galloway’s gang. Jesus Christ and מה לעזאזל. I think you’d be hard pushed to find a self-respecting Jew in the whole country who wasn’t irritated by this lot. It doesn’t help that Corbyn is pally with HAMAS, whose main manifesto is ‘wipe the Jews into the sea,’ but this bunch has really damaged my support for Labour.

I don’t actually think Corbyn is antisemitic, so much as, misguided and educated by antisemites and antisemitic policy. His heroes of socialism had some pretty wacky views and it’s natural that part of the dialogue continues. It’s like that friend we all have who shares weird memes about fluoride in the water. They’ve been exposed to rubbish for so long that it’s just the truth for them.

I should point out that I’m completely fine with criticism of Israel, but when you spend 30 years shouting about that and not any other of the 195 countries with human rights issues….mhmm. You can ‘discipline’ those who make weird holocaust conspiracies or chat about ‘Hitler before he went mad’ all you like, but we are a bit wary about this obsession. Also, it’s boring to be shouted at like I’m personally responsible for the west bank because of my religion. Piss off.

  • Also, Russia is not chill. This is something widely ignored by Corbyn’s Labour. My generation, in general, thinks Putin is a massive gonif. He is a shady, ruthless, sexist, homophobic bastard. The whole Ukraine thing was just awful. The legalising domestic violence thing, not to mention the homophobia, is also intensely unpopular. Has Corbyn picked up on the fact that today’s hip young fellows no longer have a picture of Stalin and Lenin on their wall? Nope. He just prattles on about the evil west and the wicked ‘zionists.’ Time has changed and so have our problems. The situation is far more nuanced now than ‘the goodies’ and ‘the baddies’ and this weird self-deprecation against twattish regimes is frustrating. Human up and just admit that maybe your bezzies from Moscow need to rethink their policies. 

Anyway, finally:

  • Women. As a self-affirmed woman with an ‘F’ on her passport and a copious amount of lipstick, lemme explain why Mr Corbyn and his cronies leave me cold. Honestly, it’s embarrassing how hard they try to be pro-women’s rights and come out looking more sexist than when they started trying. No, I don’t want to sit in a different carriage on a train to avoid assault. Just prosecute the wanker trying to stick his hand up my skirt, thank you. No, please don’t attack beer drinking as the reason I face discrimination in the work force, just sexist attitudes to women. He understands women as a fish understands tree climbing. Just stop, please. If you really want to do us a favour, step down, and let someone who has not been part of the sexist socialist left for 40 years take charge. 


Not sure who we will vote for, but if Corbyn doesn’t listen to his traditional voting pool for once on what matters to us, and what he’s getting wrong, Ms. May might be in for a rather long time.


Anthropologist, Liberally Jewish, Cat enthusiast, Nuance extremist.

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